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THE RELUCTANT HEALER


Want to know a secret?

Well…

You’ve heard of reluctant super heroes…right? 

They are usually reluctant for different reasons.

Some have powers, but need to grow into them.  There is a maturity, trust and understanding of their abilities that need to take place.  

Some of them  keep their secrets, because they are scared of people judging and/or accepting them.  

Some do not want to be the butt of anyone’s joke or made fun of in any way, just because they are different.  

Some are scared because they are trailblazers – the first of their kind in their communities.  They are the ones who will carve the path for others to follow…and they are uncertain if they should be followed.

Some do not fully believe in what they can do or who they truly are.

Some are worried about the additional responsibilities… Not sure if they could carry the weight of their world, if they fully step into their calling.

So who am I?

Well my journey has encompassed all of the scenarios listed above.  

I am what you may call a reluctant healer.

I used to envision a conversation with God which went something like this:

God: Soooooo…. Did you really think I gave you all your gifts, so you could run around in those jobs?… Really?!?!?… That’s what you thought? I blessed you abundantly… to be one of the world’s greatest secrets?!?!??

Me:…huh? (with a sheepish grin)

God: Please go out there and use what I gave you. Share your gifts.

Me: (Starring back unassured)

God: Now Maryse…GO…Trust me…It’s time! 

(Yes, my version of God is sarcastic, funny, and full of so much Love.)

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have had some variation of the above conversation.  At first I chalked it up to wishful thinking.  As I began to accept myself I realized, it wasn’t wishful thinking at all, but I was developing a deep knowing of Self.

Let’s rewind…

(As uncomfortable as it is for me to sit here and write about myself, I am going to share my journey.  I believe like attracts like, and if you are reading this, perhaps there is a part of my story that will resonate with you.)

I am a pisces to the fullest sense of the word.  Two fish swimming in opposite directions.  As a child I knew I wanted to be a lawyer.  I am very analytical and I have a deep calling towards fighting injustice.  I relied on my logical mind A LOT.  I am the type of person who doesn’t accept things just because someone else told me so.  Things need to add up and make sense to me.  That being said, as a child I was also a dancer.  I had a very deep connection to something that  went beyond words and logic.  No matter how analytical I was, I felt a freedom when I moved that could not be put into words.

This path as a healer has truly been a lifelong journey.  As a child, I would find peace as I played the piano or when I danced.  There was something that I connected to that was far greater than me.  It is where I felt free.  That being said, as a kid, I chalked it up to places I could escape to, not realizing what I was actually tapping into.

After graduating University (1997), I spent a year living in Sri Lanka (where some of my ancestors are from).  This is where I was first introduced to Ayurveda.  It still is an area I love delving into with my clients.  I had a deep curiosity and interest in this Science.  I was truly in awe of how simple and common sense its basic principles were.  For those who may not know, Ayurveda translates to the Knowledge/Science of LifeAyurvedic principles can be woven into any culture or time period, because they are rooted in the laws and cycles of Mother Nature.

I came back to New York and started working in live broadcast.  A very stressful job for so many reasons.  During this time, I could feel myself getting angry, to the point that I knew I had to start moving again.  So in the early 2000s I began taking African Dance.  There is something extremely healing about drums and bare feet hitting the ground. 

Somehow in 2004 I stumbled into a yoga class.  This led me to be curious about yoga – enough to want to do the teacher training, but not enough to actually want to teach (Did I mention I was reluctant).  That being said by the end of the training I was offered a class and have continued to teach for the last 14 years.  

During that time I happened to meet someone who introduced me to Reiki.  She was a Reiki master and kept talking about my healing hands.  Of Course I just thought she was being nice.  She offered to do my Reiki one training for free, as she saw something within me.  Again, I did it out of curiosity.  A few others along my path kept mentioning my healing hands, but I just thought they were very “woo woo” and saw/felt what they wanted to believe to be true.  I was in complete denial that there could be any truth to their comments.  Enough people started giving me the same feedback that I continued my Reiki training and now, a decade later, I use it as one of my healing modalities.

Around the same time, I was introduced to Essential oils and their healing properties.  I immediately fell in love with their powerful results.

Every time I was exposed to a different modality.  I became intrigued and did some deep diving to understand all the intricacies.  I would learn everything I could and practice until I found a way for it to feel a part of me. 

I felt called to study, for decades, with many experts… healers, priests, visionaries and coaches.  I learned, felt and experienced so much, but I still did not own that I was a healer.  It was not until I finally understood one of the greatest secrets…

We are all healers.  

We just need to know how to tap into that universal connection.  Ask, Listen, Hold Space & Share the gifts you have been given.  We all heal in so many different ways.  

My studies and experiences have led me to tap into my knowledge of Ayurveda, Yoga, Meditation, Breath Work, Scring, Channeling, Reiki and Essential Oils to name a few.  I tap into my intuition and listen for what is needed in the moment.  Now, the best way to define me is an Intuitive healer… and yet, for the longest time I was so confused.  I looked towards others to answer, Who am I?  What am I capable of? Not realizing I had all the answers.

So…

 Let yourself grow and trust in your abilities.

Do not ever worry about anyone judging you.  

Be different.

Create a path, so it’s clear for those who come behind you.

Believe in what you can do. (If you are curious about something, it is probably for good reason.)

Step into your calling.

If you need support along the way, or question yourself during your journey.  Reach out to me and I will walk beside you – as you figure out what is next for you.

So…What kind of healer are you?